Canada Goose Parka Love And Music And Glitter Saves The Day In ‘Space Opera’

canada goose deals There are really no words to describe Space Opera, Catherynne Valente’s new novel. Know why? Because she used them all in writing it.

canada goose clearance sale I can say cheap canada goose uk that it is square ish. Made of wood pulp. Composed mostly of sentences. I can say that it’s a wicked fast read (if you can handle the whiplash and the pure, 12 gauge crazy pants nonsense of it all) and enjoyable at speeds unsafe for canada goose store upright mammals. You’re right. Absolutely. It is ridiculous. Absolutely canadian goose jacket ridiculous. It is also absolutely the hook on which Valente has chosen Canada Goose Parka to hang her canada goose uk black friday narrative a Space Opera, literally. Lots of aliens. Lots of spaceships. Lots of songs about death and regret. And so much eyeshadow and lipstick that reading the thing is kinda like dropping four hits of acid, breaking into your local department store and rolling around in everything displayed behind the MAC cosmetics counter while the Queen soundtrack to Flash Gordon plays at full volume.

canada goose clearance Still don’t believe me? Check it out. Here’s Valente riffing on wormholes, faster than light travel and the importance of cows to human developmental history:

canada goose coats on sale «The Sentience Wars began and ended uk canada goose at a public bus stop,» she begins.

canada goose «In the early days of the universe, whether or not a habitable planet Canada Goose Outlet happened to have a wormhole nearby was as consequential to the eventual political map as whether or not a particular group of humans happened to be born on a continent with domesticable animals on tap or on an island the buy canada goose jacket size of a doorknob where the only canada goose factory sale source of cheap canada goose reliable protein was a semi poisonous tuber. Wormhole or no wormhole had just as little to do with the inherent superiority and/or possibly divine mandate of the smirking bastards who won the canada goose coats on sale cosmic draw as cow or cheap Canada Goose no cow, and yet, everyone everywhere will do, say, and canada goose stab nearly Canada Goose Jackets anything if it means they get to believe that they are blessed and their neighbors are basically toad people.»

canada goose black friday sale This then goes on for eight more pages. Eight pages of beautiful, weird, funny and stupid stories about cows, pandas, wormholes, the Sex Pistols and the intergalactic Sentience Wars which very nearly (but not quite) destroyed the civilized universe very recently. She describes the life cycle of wormholes (because they’re alive, of course), and how they came to be, does a little bit on the Big Bang, and the brief, yawning awakening of one wormhole canada goose clearance sale in particular which, quite accidentally, led to the Sentience Canada Goose Coats On Sale Wars and, thereby, spawned the Metagalactic Grand Prix in which all new species get to prove their Canada Goose sale sentience by singing one song and singing it better than at least one of the other species also trying to compete.

buy canada goose jacket Then she takes a breath.

buy canada goose jacket cheap Then things get really weird.

canadian goose jacket Look, I’m not gonna convince you to canada goose coats read a book where alien invasion looks like billions of identical, electric blue flamingoes appearing uk canada goose outlet before every human on earth simultaneously and explaining to them (in the beloved voices of dead parents or half remembered children’s cartoon characters) about the Metagalactic Grand Prix. I’m not going to convince you to read a story about how one omnisexual and gender fluid former glitter punk messiah (plus his former bandmate, Oort St. Ultraviolet) saves the world with song. That has to either be your cup of tea or not, you know? You gotta canada goose uk shop want something that is pure, un cut brain cocaine adulterated only with a smattering of proper nouns; that is a non stop amusement park ride made of clever things done with the English language.

Seriously, I wanted to prove it by opening Space Opera to a random Canada Goose online page and just pulling out the first line that caught my eye. This was that line:

Canada Goose online «Goguenar Gorecannon’s Unkillable Facts contains 99.9 percent pure reliable and comprehensive laws of the universe as observed by an under achieving socially anxious mutant murderhippo and is considered to canada goose clearance be as essential to a healthy, balanced childhood as hugs, night lights and cellular division.»

canada goose store You gotta want something that is pure, un cut brain cocaine adulterated only with a smattering of proper nouns; that is a non stop amusement park ride made of clever things done with the English language.

cheap Canada Goose Yeah. You gotta be down for that kind of thing for a line like that making perfect, inarguable, even tender sense in order to dive into this one. The plot is basic. The action is predictable (once you get past the telepathic flamingoes and FTL travel). It starts with a bad day and ends with a song.

Canada Goose Jackets But in between? In between it’s all big ideas written in glitter. It’s surprising tenderness on a galactic scale. It’s about loneliness and nerdliness and acceptance and making fun of the old, frowsy powers that be. Valente offers up a universe in which the only thing of true value is rhythm. Not guns, not bombs, not money, not power, but sex and love and pop songs.

canada goose coats And also canada goose uk outlet wormholes, as we previously established.

Canada Goose Outlet But mostly rhythm. Just the ability to sing canada goose black friday sale a song and make people (or space flamingoes or murderhippos or giant balls of sentient gas) sing along with you.

Jason Sheehan knows stuff about food, video games, books and Starblazers. He is currently the restaurant critic at Philadelphia magazine, but when no one is looking, he spends his time writing Canada Goose Online books about giant robots and ray guns. Tales From the Radiation Age is his latest buy canada goose jacket cheap book.

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